Have you seen the movie “The Mask”? You know, Jim Carey with a green face, acting wacky and silly? The movie is about a nice and normal guy, who one day finds an ancient mask. The funny part is that this mask, when worn, has several effects on the person wearing it. The effects are superhuman speed, crazy flexibility among popping eyes and other things. Well, I have a mask and like in the movie, my mask gives me powers. When I wear my mask people like me and accept me and that to me is pretty powerful. My motherhood journey is fueled by mask moments. Most of my adult life is filled with mask moments too.
My mask is SHAME. Shame (fear of reveling one true self) stops me from being vulnerable. If I’m not vulnerable then I can’t connect, but my existence depends on my connection to others because that’s how humans are wired. So, for that reason, I’m unmasking shame. This is who I really am:
I’m the most anti-social person
I’m shy and insecure
I yell at my kids
almost every day (I think I didn’t yell last Sunday…oh wait)
I deal with self-image issues
I don’t know how to manage time
I don’t know how to communicate with my husband nor my kids
Most days I feel like I have no clue of what I’m doing
I constantly battle thoughts of inadequacy (like I mentioned in previous post)
I can’t keep up with house, husband and kids
I forget my kids’ doctors appointments
I forget to put sunblock on my kids
I feel like a failure because my singing career is not where I thought it would be by this time in my life.
I feel like I’m a mess
I’m always conscious about my accent, I feel people can’t understand me
This is just a small list but I think you get the point.
Since I was really young I’ve known that I want to make an impact in this world, to make a difference. I’ve known that I want to empower women of all ages to live up to their full potential. But, how can I do that if I don’t open myself up? How can I help others if they can’t really see me?
I am tired of wearing this mask. I am letting go of who I think I’m supposed to be and I going to embrace who I actually am. I have decided to be vulnerable and let you all see who I really am. I’m letting go of shame so you can see my face. I really hope that you’ll still like me but I want you to know that if you don’t, it’s totally ok.
On that note CHEERS!
til next time