Unmasking The Mask

Have you seen the movie “The Mask”?  You know, Jim Carey with a green face, acting wacky and silly? The movie is about a nice and normal guy, who one day finds an ancient mask. The funny part is that this mask, when worn, has several effects on the person wearing it. The effects are superhuman speed, crazy flexibility among popping eyes and other things.  Well, I have a mask and like in the movie, my mask gives me powers.  When I wear my mask people like me and accept me and  that to me is pretty powerful. My motherhood journey is fueled by mask moments. Most of my adult life is filled with mask moments too.

My mask is SHAME. Shame (fear of reveling one true self) stops me from being vulnerable.  If I’m not vulnerable then I can’t connect, but my existence depends on my connection to others because that’s how humans are wired. So, for that reason, I’m unmasking shame. This is who I really am:

I’m the most anti-social person

I’m shy and insecure

I yell at my kids almost every day (I think I didn’t yell last Sunday…oh wait)

I deal with self-image issues

I don’t know how to manage time

I don’t know how to communicate with my husband nor my kids

Most days I feel like I have no clue of what I’m doing

I constantly battle thoughts of inadequacy (like I mentioned in previous post)

I can’t keep up with house, husband and kids

I forget my kids’ doctors appointments

I forget to put sunblock on my kids

I feel like a failure because my singing career is not where I thought it would be by this time in my life.

I feel like I’m a mess

I’m always conscious about my accent, I feel people can’t understand me

This is just a small list but I think you get the point.

Since I was really young I’ve known that I want to make an impact in this world, to make a difference. I’ve known that I want to empower women of all ages to live up to their full potential. But, how can I do that if I don’t open myself up? How can I help others if they can’t really see me?

I am tired of wearing this mask.  I am letting go of  who I think I’m supposed to be and I going to embrace who I actually am. I have decided to be vulnerable and let you all see who I really am.  I’m letting go of shame so you can see my face. I really hope that you’ll still like me but I want you to know that if you don’t, it’s totally ok.

On that note CHEERS!

til next time

Cynthia

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17 thoughts on “Unmasking The Mask

  1. AnitaAnswers says:

    You are …. honest, generous, transparent, vulnerable. You are a world citizen and the world embraces you, accent and all.

    You are ready, now live your life to the fullest with honest joy each and every day.

  2. I think its good that you’re being transparent. Daily many are living a life of pretending because of not wanting others to see who they really are.

    The first step I took is excepting who I am and loving whom I’ve become. If any changes I had to make I decided to do it one day at a time, but make the important things first by writing it down as a reminder and that first thing have to start with you.

    Do you first, because losing you allows you to be short with everything else. When you take care of you it leaves room to want to do the other things important to your family and you will find yourself smiling at yourself, because of your accomplishments not only for yourself, but for all those things you no longer have to mask, but you no longer see those things that you have unveiled!

    Have a Diamond Bless Day!

    • Cynthia Matos-Medina says:

      Thank you so much for your comment. You are absolutely right. I love the freedom that I have now to just be who I am not who I think I should. Life is so much better this way.

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