Today I woke up feeling overwhelmed by fifth grade. At the beginning of last month I decided, after a few therapy sessions, to ease up on my boy. I told him that he needed to take charge of his school work and that I was there for him if he needed me, but I was not going to babysit him as far as homework. Well, yesterday I got the “point letter”. The point letter is a monthly report fifth grade parents at our school get, explaining how many points your child lost during the month and how many points he/she got left. Kids start with 100 points every month and should try to keep at least 85. This is a way to teach them responsibility, make them accountable in qualifying for their fifth grade trip to Washington DC, and to drive parents into insanity. Points are taken off when they miss assignments, or forget to turn something in, or when talking too much in class etc. His point letter didn’t look good. He had misplaced some papers, or forgotten his binder at school or whatever. The issue is, his point letter didn’t look good and that took me on a spiral down. I felt it was my fault for easing up on him. I felt like as if those were my points. I felt it was a reflection of something I did wrong.
Thank God for therapy! A few weeks ago I scheduled my therapy session for today. I guess God knew I was going to need it this particular Thursday. In therapy I brought up the reason I was feeling down and went on to explain the whole point letter thing. My therapist looked at me and with that particular therapist’s smile and tone of voice said to me “Oh Cynthia why are you sweating the small stuff?”. “Small stuff? Did she just say that?” I thought. She continued to say ” fifth grade is not important to get into college, if he is loosing points he will figure it out. The important thing is that he learns what he needs to learn in fifth grade and that’s all” as she is telling me this I’m feeling weight being lifted off my shoulders. I knew this, why couldn’t I see it? Well, a lot has to do with the way I was raised and the high expectations I place on myself on a daily basis. She went on to teach me a relaxation exercise so I can use throughout the day. She told me to close my eyes, take a deep breath…imagine I was on a vacation…smell the ocean…feel the breeze…and right when this was getting relaxing my stomach growls so loud that I had no choice but to burst into a big laugh. I went out of therapy feeling so much better and straight to eat lunch 🙂
I learned not sweat the small stuff, that I need to learn to relax and make sure I eat something before therapy. As per my boy, he will be fine. It’s only fifth grade. So for now I’ll pour some relaxation into my glass while I meditate on what I learned today 😉
til next time,