“Mami, what’s for dinner?” The very first question I get asked every day when I pick up my kids from school. Sometimes my respose is well received, becuase the menu sounds appealing and to their liking, but other days, like yesterday, my respons,e is not welcomed and it paints a frawn on their faces. “Today we are having leftovers for dinner” “leftovers!, why? Let me guess, a lazy day today for you mammy?” – Did this creature just say that?. Is this child out of her mind? Is she aware of the fact that comments like that can be dangerous and sometimes even fatal? Lazy day!? Of course all these thoughts are crossing through my mind in a matters of milliseconds and all I can actually articulate is “no little girl, it’s been a really busy day for me and last night I cooked enough food for two days, it won’t kill you if you eat the same thing again tonight”.
So many times I do things expecting my kids, husband or people in general – did I mention my husband?- to interpret the real motive. Most times, I don’t get the reaction I hope for and that leaves me feeling unappreciated and frustrated. But the reality is they don’t know any better. For my lovely 9 year old little human, placed in my life to teach me lessons, my serving leftovers for dinner meant a lazy day for mami. In reality, however, it was the total opposite. Oh, the complexities of communication. I’m not only a victim in this, I’m also guilty of doing the same, specially to my husband. How many times has he done something meaning a completely different thing than what I think or strongly believe he meant. It’s crazy if you really think about it. As I write, I realize that what I need to do is clearly say what I mean and be understanding when I’m on the other side. If I’m the one relating the message, say it clearly and if I’m the one receiving the message be open minded and understand that when he asks me if I put pepper in the chicken he is not saying the chicken is under seasoned he is probably saying he likes the way I seasoned it today. The issue is not always how he says it, it’s how I hear it and a lot of times is how I don’t say it. This whole communication thing is kind of tricky but I’ll get it some day. Now, how do I say this?..oh, CHEERS 🙂
til next time,