“Let Me Guess, A Lazy Day For You Mami?”

“Mami, what’s for dinner?”  The very first question I get asked every day when I pick up my kids from school.  Sometimes my respose is well received, becuase the menu sounds appealing and to their liking, but other days, like yesterday, my respons,e is not welcomed and it paints a frawn on their faces. “Today we are having leftovers for dinner” “leftovers!, why? Let me guess, a lazy day today for you mammy?” – Did this creature just say that?.  Is this child out of her mind? Is she aware of  the fact that comments like that can be dangerous and sometimes even fatal? Lazy day!?  Of course all these thoughts are crossing through my mind in a matters of milliseconds and all I can actually articulate is “no little girl, it’s been a really busy day for me and last night I cooked enough food for two days, it won’t kill you if you eat the same thing again tonight”.

So many times I do things expecting my kids, husband or  people in general – did I mention my husband?- to interpret the real motive. Most times, I don’t get the reaction I hope for and that leaves me feeling unappreciated and frustrated.  But the reality is they don’t know any better.  For my lovely 9 year old little human, placed in my life to teach me lessons, my serving leftovers for dinner meant a lazy day for mami. In reality, however, it was the total opposite.  Oh, the complexities of communication. I’m not only a victim in this, I’m also guilty of doing the same, specially to my husband. How many times has he done something meaning a completely different thing than what I think or strongly believe he meant.  It’s crazy if you really think about it.  As I write, I realize that what I need to do is clearly say what I mean and be understanding when I’m on the other side. If I’m the one relating the message, say it clearly and if I’m the one receiving the message be open minded and understand that when he asks me if I put pepper in the chicken he is not saying the chicken is under seasoned he is probably saying he likes the way I seasoned it today. The issue is not always how he says it, it’s how I hear it and a lot of times is how I don’t say it. This whole communication thing is kind of tricky but I’ll get it some day.  Now, how do I say this?..oh, CHEERS 🙂

til next time,

Cynthia

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5 thoughts on ““Let Me Guess, A Lazy Day For You Mami?”

  1. wildinvirginia says:

    Puts me in mind of a book I read for Psychology about 20 years ago, “I’m OK, You’re OK” … a really basic intro into transactional analysis. A good enough read and one of those ‘Eureka’ moments for me…the premise being I do/say something which makes you do/say something which then makes me …..you get the idea. It’s so true tho, how many misunderstandings have gone unchallenged or unquestioned? I shudder to think. I mean, an arguement or retaliation is probably the best outcome because at least you get some clarification. The idea that someone misunderstood or misinterpreted one of my multitude of flippant, sarcastic or smart (but only to me) observations and left it unchallenged, being offended, hurt or willing to judge or walk away based on an inaccuracy is horrible!!!! I curse my British sarcasm and American smart mouth lol. If I didn’t live in the middle of nowhere, I might dig up a copy of TA Today or my I’m OK for old time’s sake, lest I offend a passing racoon or miss an opportunity to communicate effectively with a groundhog …..

  2. Mommabel says:

    I truly appreciate this post. Communication truly is the key in our relationships. Thank you for you insights..

  3. gourmandchic says:

    Hahaha. My daughter not only asks me every day where we are having lunch or dinner but she also goes to sleep asking me what we are going to do the next day. She needs a schedule and rundown! Imagine that. At the age of 4. Like she has such a busy schedule she has to organize it. SMH

    • Cynthia Matos-Medina says:

      Kids have a way, I tell you hahaha.
      She sounds so adorable. Hope you have a good weekend.
      Xoxo

  4. I love the line, “it’s how I hear it.” Communication really is a tricky thing. We have to try to hear with our hearts. I am reminded of a quote, “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.” So we can listen more! As for leftovers, my family is still getting used to eating the same meal for two days. They LOVE when there is something new on the menu. But I don’t like wasting food! Have a fabulous weekend Cynthia. Hope you don’t spend to much time near the stove. 🙂

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