Category Archives: Inspiration

I Can Relate to Jenifer Lopez

English: Jennifer Lopez in 2009 Português: Jen...

English: Jennifer Lopez in 2009 Português: Jennifer Lopez em 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jenifer Lopez admitted in an interview when she was prompted with a question about her “non-traditional” family, that she has let society get in her head.  She talked about  dealing with those grueling feelings of failure that moms tend to deal with on a daily basis.  She actually gave me an insight into her motherhood that allowed me to finally relate to her. Yes, I can relate to Jenifer Lopez, not because she is latina, not because she has two kids, not even because she is an artist. I relate to her because many times I have felt the same feelings about my role as a mother.

My mind is a daily battlefield. If my kids get a low grade on a test, I feel it is because I didn’t spend enough time studying with them and for that I failed them, or if they get sick with a cold, it’s because I forgot to give them their vitamins and for that I failed them too. I mean, the pressure I put on myself to be this “perfect mom” in this “prefect family” is out of control.  I try to be “perfect” just to be constantly confronted by my imperfections.  Every night I go through a mental audit to see where I failed that day and let me tell you the list gets longer and longer everyday.

Why this need to be perfect? Have I let society get in my head too? Am I a victim of my own crazy idea of being a “perfect mom” and having a “perfect family”?  I think so.  JLo said that she has to frequently remind herself that as long as her kids feel that they are loved  more than anything in the world, as long as they feel safe and protected, then that’s all that matters.  I must remind myself of the same and  give myself a break.  This constant battle is not a healthy way of living and it’s not something I want to pass on to my daughter nor my son.  There is no such a thing as a perfect mom or a perfect family  and I know that, yet I still thrive for that doing more harm than good to my family and myself.

I pledge to go easy on me,  to do the best I can and  to be ok with the outcome.  If I stop demanding perfection from myself and love myself anyway then my kids will know that they don’t need to be perfect in oder to be loved by me, and that my friends… is perfect!

CHEERS! 🙂

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Sweet And Dry Dreams

Baby boy, children, toddler, chubby cheeks

Copy Rights of Cynthia S Medina

A few days ago my son came home with a permission slip for me to sign.  I held the paper in my hands and proceeded to reed it.  “Here we go again, another field trip or another fundraising thing” -I thought.  “What!…a PUBERTY MOVIE?”-I screamed.  I was holding in my hands a permission slip to allow my fifth grader to watch a “maturity video” with his class.  My heart started raising faster and my mind went crazy.  “I can’t believe we are there already.  My boy is too young for puberty. My baby…”. Thoughts bombarded me making me realize that time has gone by and my boy is no longer a baby and that, indeed,  he is growing.
Today I sat in the auditorium to screen the movie before signing the permission slip, just because I wanted to make sure the message he was going to receive was aligned to what we think is appropriate for him to know at this age.  In the video,  they talked about body odor, facial hair, other regions hairs and, of course, they talked about wet dreams.  They showed a picture of the male genitalia explaining what happens when IT wakes up.  As I was seating there watching this all I could think was how fast the time has gone by.  Then I realized that  I still see my boy as that chubby cheeked delicious little boy holding my hand and not wanting to let go that first day of pre-school, but in two weeks that same boy is culminating fifth grade. Time is flying and I better hurry and teach him all I’m supposed to because before I know it, I’ll be standing in front of his college dorm, crying, saying goodbye and trusting my Lord that He will protect him and guide him as my little grown boy embarks in his own journey.
I did sign the permission slip allowing him to watch it.  I knew his friends were going to watch it and you know how kids are.  I wanted him to get the information right instead of getting it from boys his age.  I figured we would do our part here at home.
Tonight the cuddling ritual will change slightly.  Daddy will be doing the tucking in, while answering any questions my boy may have.  And as I pray tonight over my boy, I’ll pray for sweet and dry dreams 😉
I sure need a glass of wine tonight, CHEERS!
Til next time,
Cynthia

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SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED TO SEE IS A NUMBER

Cortesy of Salary.com

Cortesy of Salary.com

The following post is not of my authorship; nevertheless, it is WORTH reading and sharing.
As a stay at home mom, I struggle with crazy feelings of being unworthy and even a burden instead of a partner. A lot of these feelings are attached to the fact that I don’t bring home a paycheck to contribute to the household expenses.
At times these feelings have landed me on the couch at my therapist office, and other times I have had the clarity of mind to just snap out of it and really see the truth. As much as I know how important my role as a stay at home mom is, sometimes I need to just hear it or read it from someone else.
That’s why I want to share this article with all of you. I really hope it brings perspective to every stay at home mom and to every husband of one, because sometimes all we need to see is a number.
CHEERS!

Stay at Home Moms: Stop Feeling Like You Have no Say in Your Family Finances

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Letting Go of Wanting to Hold On

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Tuesday morning my son departed to Washington, DC on a school trip with his fifth grade classmates. What an interesting day Tuesday was for me. Excited for him to have this amazing experience, but sad for me because my boy was leaving without me. The day before, while he was in school, I packed his bag organizing his outfits by day in big space bags. I wrote notes and placed them in every bag to surprise him every day. That night as I’m tucked him in bed he started crying and he said, “Mami, I’m going to miss you and Papi and Camila”. The crying went on for awhile so I told him that he really didn’t have to go, but he said he wanted to. I kissed him and hugged him and he finally fell asleep.
4:00 am came and the alarm went off, I woke up and realized that, that morning my boy was leaving. I got bombarded with thoughts, “Will he be ok? Is he going to get home sick? I don’t want him to suffer. I don’t want him to be miserable all the way across the country. Oh my gosh!!! I’m going to miss my boy” I was freaking out but I managed to get him up pretending I was excited and trying to keep it together. See, my boy had never been away from home without close family, so this trip is a big deal. We made it to the airport by 6:00 AM. My husband pulled up by the curve side as we were told to do, and we got out of the car. Gabriel hugged his dad goodbye and he started to cry. Immediately I took my phone and told them to pose for a picture, that took some of the intensity of the moment off. I walked in the terminal with him and right away the teacher leader of his group gave him his ticket and told him to get in line. Some kids were crying, some were laughing with friends and some were just going with the motion -Gabriel. He checked in at the counter with his luggage like a big boy and was immediately directed to the security check point line all while I looked from the distance. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me and I realized it was his way of coping with the moment. He made it through the check point, grabbed his jacket and backpack and was about to walk away until I screamed “Gabriel” he looked back, I waived, he waived back and off he went. I didn’t get to hug him nor kiss him goodbye.
My husband and I got back to the house and he went to work and then it hit me “OH SSSSSHHHHNAP I DIDN’T KISS MY BOY. I DIDN’T HUG HIM” and I started crying like a little girl. I know that was the best thing to do, not to hug him or kiss him because he and I know that would have been it. He would have lost it and so would have I, but man… I know this is a trip he will remember for the rest of his life. I know he is going to learn and have a blast. I know this is a growing experience for him and for me. I know allowing him to grow and experience things on his own is necessary and that we as parents won’t be able to hold on to them forever. I also know that letting go of wanting to hold on is the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I miss my boy and I know he misses me but thank God for technology. The teachers have been posting pictures on twitter for the mental health of parents like me and once in awhile I can see him smiling and that makes this whole crazy thing a tiny bit easier. It’s only day 3 and I’m counting down the days to his return.
So I leave you now because I need to go back to twitter to see if I can see my boy one more time before he goes to bed.
CHEERS!

til next time,
Cynthia

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Water or Wine?

Water or Wine?

Water or Wine?

On Wednesday and Thursday my baby girl stayed home because she was sick. She had a high fever that wouldn’t break, a headache, and a sore throat. I took her to the doctor first thing Wednesday morning. They did the whole “open your mouth and say aah” thing and sure enough, STREP. Right away she was given the prescription for the antidote and off we went to the pharmacy. While we waited, we decided to go next door to get something to drink and that’s when it all began. Camila was faced with a choice, water or juice? It might seem like a very simple thing, but in that moment it wasn’t. It was a split-second where she knew what was better for her, and she also knew what I would rather her have yet, she hesitated.
I’m trying (with emphasis on “trying”) to teach my kids to stop and think before making a decision. I want them to be able to use that second to assess the situation and figure out what is the best thing to do, while also taking under consideration the values they are being taught. For some reason my efforts have given me faster results with my daughter. I can see her thinking and for the most part, she makes good decisions. On the other hand, my son often realizes what the right choice was after his cards have been read and a two-week without tv sentence is in his horizon. A lot has to do with not being shame resilient yet (I’m also trying to teach them that). It’s hard for him, and most boys for that matter, to stop and think in the middle of feeling embarrassed or belittled. I get it, it happens to me too. However, as an adult, I also know and understand that there are consequences to every action. He is learning and I know he will get there. Meanwhile, I’ll pray that I don’t get a phone call from school saying that he is at the office or that he doesn’t get any more tv time taken away. God knows I need him to be able to watch tv Saturday mornings so I can sleep in.
I won’t be able to make choices for them, all the time, so they must learn. As of Camila, I’m so glad she knew water was better for her. I too, get faced with a similar choice, water or wine?… and I always go for the wine 😉
Cheers!

til next time,
Cynthia

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As Ugly as Shrek

Real Beauty
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, we’ve heard this many times and most of those times we use it to defend what we think is beautiful but doesn’t conform to the popular definition of beauty. I think I’m attractive, more so when I have make up on and hair is perfectly placed. People tell me I’m beautiful and sometimes I believe it, but there are times that I feel as ugly as Shrek.
You see? I’m my worst critic and if you ask me what’s wrong with me I can give you a list of things and body parts. My nose is too wide, my hands are too big, my butt is not firm enough, my hips are wiggling their way to Sunday and on and on and on. Why is it so hard for me to see what others see? It is so much easier to find beauty in someone else but myself and often forget that real beauty is the one inside.
I want my 9 year old gorgeous daughter to know how beautiful she is. I want her to be happy with all her body parts, big or small. I want her to understand that the real beauty lies within, that a giving heart and a grateful spirit surpass the illusion we define as beautiful. And I want my 11 year old son to value the real beauty in his future wife and friendships. I want him to crave it and treasure it.
I want my kids to find and conserve their real beauty because once they do, they’ll be able to see it in others too.

I am beautiful so cheers to that 😉

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They Are Looking

photo (3)Today, as I drawn myself in the vast sea of images and news reports about the event that took place in Boston, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and confused. Yes, I know that as Americans and as a country that has overcome and risen stronger from numerous tragedies, we are a resilient nation and know how to come together in moments like this. However, I can’t help but feel a very settle wind of fear and uncertainty specially when thinking about my children’s perspective of all this.
This morning while my son was getting ready for school, he turned on the news in my room. As I heard the tv I ran from the kitchen to my room to turn the tv off because I didn’t want him to have those images in his head specially before going to school. When I got to my room and told him why I didn’t want him watching too much of the news, he looked at me and with a very mature stare (which is really unbelievable the fact that I’m using the word mature when referring to my son) and told me, “Oh Mami, don’t worry. You want to know something? The thing I’ve noticed the most as I watch the news is how people put themselves at risk to help others. I noticed one guy who was bleeding but instead of running away he took off his shirt and wrapped it around another person who was also bleeding. That was nice of him. ” Little did that person know that an 11 year old boy would take notice of that small yet impactful act of kindness. Today my son is a better person because someone decided to put his neighbor first. Our kids are taking notice of the smallest things we most of the time overlook. We should always put others first because that’s the right way to live and love, but if that’s not enough, we should do it because they are looking.

Til next time,
Cynthia

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A “Thank You” Note To Dr. Carl June

photo (1)This is a note I wrote to Dr. Carl June a few months ago.

Dear Doctor June,
My name is Cynthia Medina. I reside in California. with my family.
For a long time my kids, Gabriel 10 and Camila 9, have said what they want to be when they grow up. Gabriel has told us that he is going to be a scientist that will invent a machine to stop me from getting old (you can just imagine how hopeful that makes me) :). On the other hand, Camila has always said that she will be a kid’s doctor and that she will find the cure for cancer. For a few years now we’ve gotten used to the idea; however, the other day something happened.
My son came home from school and sat on the computer to research a doctor from Japan that his teacher had been talking about in class. My son told me that his teacher said this Japanese doctor was able to re-train a cancer cell to kill itself. To be honest with you, I haven’t read anything on it and we can’t even find anything about it online, but my son can’t stop talking about it.  Now that my son knows that scientists can do these tricky things and can help people with their findings, he wants to be the one to find a cure for cancer.  And there goes my hope for eternal youth. During his research for the Japanese doctor, he came across your article “Chimeric Antigen Receptor-Modified T Cells in Chronic Lymphoid Leukemia”.  He read a little bit and, together with me, googled most of it to be able to understand the terminology.  Since that day , he has been talking about Dr. Carl June. 
He is now working on a school project called “Using Your Wits”. For this project he has to pick a person and explain how he/she used his/her wits and what difference that has made or will make in the world. Guess what Dr. June? My son has picked you.  He is starting his report about Dr. Carl June, the doctor who was able to cure a person from Leukemia. 
The reason for this note is to let you know that you have inspired my son to be great. You have enlightened his young mind with wonder and desire. He wants to know more, he wants to do more and that’s because of what you have already accomplished. While you were working on your studies, you probably never thought a ten year old boy was going to read your article and would be inspired to do even greater things.
For that, I just want to thank you.
Sincerely,
Cynthia Medina
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Arriba, Arriba!

Google image

Google image

Today was the first day back to school after winter break. Three weeks of sleeping in until whatever time, no tennis practice, dinning out almost every night and going to bed whenever our eyes gave up.  Parties almost every weekend and all the food and drinks that come with them. It was great just to be off the routine for a bit.  I didn’t post on my blog for a month, believe me, I wanted to.  But as much as I tried, I just didn’t have the creative juice flowing.  A lot of it had to do with the tragedy we suffered as a country that grey unforgettable Friday morning. That event took away all my focus and creativity for a while. How could I be funny? What could I possibly write about when so many families were experiencing the most unimaginable tragedy? I decided to respect and be quiet.

Today I’m back, back in every aspect. Back to waking up at 6 am, back to morning madness, to working out, to picking up around the house. Back to tennis practice and crazy homework time, back to songwriting and back to my blog. Yes I’m back. So much so that this morning I had no problem waking up. It was easy getting the kids out of bed and ready.  Made breakfast and lunches and they were at school by 7:40 am. I came back home and got on Speedy González mode. I went into my daughter’s room and started to organize her closet, then her drawers and then her desk. Dressed all her naked dolls with all the doll clothes that were spread all over her room and the amount of trash I gathered was unbelievable. I mean how is it possible for a 9 year old girl to accumulate so much garbage? Anyway, I finished her room and then cleaned a bathroom and to my surprise when I looked at the clock it was only 8:45 am. It feels like I had been hibernating for three weeks and I finally woke up today.

So here is to a great year, a year of action and growth. A year where we’ll use our voices to make things better. A year of no excuses and no regrets. A year that we can look back on and see the great difference we made just by doing our part.  Life is way too short so let’s live it wisely.

As for Speedy Gonzalez, he got nothing on me.  Arriba, Arriba!  Cheers!!!

Til next time,

Cynthia

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Little Big Hearts

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We’ve had a bunny for almost a year. His name is Fluffy. Beautiful little rabbit with a peculiar trait, one eye blue and the other brown. Fluffy’s house is really nice – rich wood, two levels, I’m telling you, a nice crip.

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He is a part of our family, the joy of every play date. Camila walks him on a stroller, she even put a dipper on him the other day. Fluffy is really special to my kids and for that reason, to all of us.
Unfortunately, fluffy passed away yesterday and my babies are extremely sad and heart broken. Last night they cried so much I didn’t know what to do to make it better for them. They cried until they fell asleep just to wake up and cry again. My son said to me, “Mami we are supposed to be happy, it’s the holidays” while crying 😦
Death is a part of our reality that we must face. It is so hard to explain to a nine and a ten year old. Nikki, their tennis coach, told them that Fluffy was a star and that they could always look up to the sky and see him. Unfortunately, it was cloudy last night and we couldn’t see stars. The truth is Fluffy is not physically with us and that makes my kids really sad. I just hope their little big hearts can heal soon so they don’t hurt.
Fluffy will always be our bunny.

Til next time

Cynthia

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