Category Archives: Parenthood

I Can Relate to Jenifer Lopez

English: Jennifer Lopez in 2009 Português: Jen...

English: Jennifer Lopez in 2009 Português: Jennifer Lopez em 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jenifer Lopez admitted in an interview when she was prompted with a question about her “non-traditional” family, that she has let society get in her head.  She talked about  dealing with those grueling feelings of failure that moms tend to deal with on a daily basis.  She actually gave me an insight into her motherhood that allowed me to finally relate to her. Yes, I can relate to Jenifer Lopez, not because she is latina, not because she has two kids, not even because she is an artist. I relate to her because many times I have felt the same feelings about my role as a mother.

My mind is a daily battlefield. If my kids get a low grade on a test, I feel it is because I didn’t spend enough time studying with them and for that I failed them, or if they get sick with a cold, it’s because I forgot to give them their vitamins and for that I failed them too. I mean, the pressure I put on myself to be this “perfect mom” in this “prefect family” is out of control.  I try to be “perfect” just to be constantly confronted by my imperfections.  Every night I go through a mental audit to see where I failed that day and let me tell you the list gets longer and longer everyday.

Why this need to be perfect? Have I let society get in my head too? Am I a victim of my own crazy idea of being a “perfect mom” and having a “perfect family”?  I think so.  JLo said that she has to frequently remind herself that as long as her kids feel that they are loved  more than anything in the world, as long as they feel safe and protected, then that’s all that matters.  I must remind myself of the same and  give myself a break.  This constant battle is not a healthy way of living and it’s not something I want to pass on to my daughter nor my son.  There is no such a thing as a perfect mom or a perfect family  and I know that, yet I still thrive for that doing more harm than good to my family and myself.

I pledge to go easy on me,  to do the best I can and  to be ok with the outcome.  If I stop demanding perfection from myself and love myself anyway then my kids will know that they don’t need to be perfect in oder to be loved by me, and that my friends… is perfect!

CHEERS! 🙂

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Sweet And Dry Dreams

Baby boy, children, toddler, chubby cheeks

Copy Rights of Cynthia S Medina

A few days ago my son came home with a permission slip for me to sign.  I held the paper in my hands and proceeded to reed it.  “Here we go again, another field trip or another fundraising thing” -I thought.  “What!…a PUBERTY MOVIE?”-I screamed.  I was holding in my hands a permission slip to allow my fifth grader to watch a “maturity video” with his class.  My heart started raising faster and my mind went crazy.  “I can’t believe we are there already.  My boy is too young for puberty. My baby…”. Thoughts bombarded me making me realize that time has gone by and my boy is no longer a baby and that, indeed,  he is growing.
Today I sat in the auditorium to screen the movie before signing the permission slip, just because I wanted to make sure the message he was going to receive was aligned to what we think is appropriate for him to know at this age.  In the video,  they talked about body odor, facial hair, other regions hairs and, of course, they talked about wet dreams.  They showed a picture of the male genitalia explaining what happens when IT wakes up.  As I was seating there watching this all I could think was how fast the time has gone by.  Then I realized that  I still see my boy as that chubby cheeked delicious little boy holding my hand and not wanting to let go that first day of pre-school, but in two weeks that same boy is culminating fifth grade. Time is flying and I better hurry and teach him all I’m supposed to because before I know it, I’ll be standing in front of his college dorm, crying, saying goodbye and trusting my Lord that He will protect him and guide him as my little grown boy embarks in his own journey.
I did sign the permission slip allowing him to watch it.  I knew his friends were going to watch it and you know how kids are.  I wanted him to get the information right instead of getting it from boys his age.  I figured we would do our part here at home.
Tonight the cuddling ritual will change slightly.  Daddy will be doing the tucking in, while answering any questions my boy may have.  And as I pray tonight over my boy, I’ll pray for sweet and dry dreams 😉
I sure need a glass of wine tonight, CHEERS!
Til next time,
Cynthia

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In My Opinion…NOT CREATED EQUAL

This is a very interesting video. I want to share it with you because I would like your opinion on this.
My question is, Who is doing the laundry and cleaning the house while he takes his invigorating bike ride with his son? And, who is planning dinner? Really!?
Are the stay-at-home dad responsibilities the same as of a stay-at-home mom? I’m not sure they are.
What do you think?
In my opinion, stay at home dads and stay at home moms are not created equal.

Stay at Home Dad, Clueless.

til next time,

Cynthia

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You Are Going To Need A Password…

Special K, Kellogg's, Family, Health, Education, United States, government
This morning as I cleared the obvious evidence of our morning madness, I noticed the box of cereal. The poor box of cereal became the victim of one of my kids trying to open it. It’s always the same thing, the top gets all torn up and the bag inside is ripped open and all the cereal spills from the bag into the box. I get so frustrated every single time.
The reality is that opening a box of cereal can be a difficult task for a kid. You need to know the right amount of force to use- too much muscle on the box and that little sleeve on top rips and you are not able to lock the box. Too much force on the bag and you have cereal all over the kitchen floor. Something that should be easy for our kids to do is so difficult.
On the other hand, I get disconcerted by thinking about how easy it is for kids to be exposed to everything we don’t want them to see. From pornography to violence, from Honey Boo Boo to Keeping Up with The Kardashians. It is extremely easy for kids to be exposed to sexual predators and all kinds of dangers via the internet. I have set parental control on everything that allows me and I monitor very closely what they watch and what they listen to. It has nothing to do with being controlling, it has to do with being a responsible parent, in my opinion.
Why is it so much easier for my kids to be exposed to these dangers online than it is for them to open the box of cereal? We got it all backwards.
Once again I say, I know I won’t be able to protect my kids from everything and I’m ok with that. Another thing I know is that if you want to get in my computer you are going to need a password 😉 CHEERS!

til next time,

Cynthia

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Abercrombie & Fitch: My Kids Are Too Cool For You

Abercrombie & Fitch

I haven’t been the one to constantly be offering my two cents on politics or any other controversial issues. However, today I can’t keep quiet. Abercrombie & Fitch really stroke a cord in me this week. The comments perfunctorily made by this company’s CEO really show how shallow and irresponsible he is, reflecting badly on his company. I understand branding and marketing but to go as far as naming his target market “the cool kids” makes me angry. What is that saying to the kid that will never be a size 2? What is the message being heard by that girl and boy who has been struggling with self-image issues and/or eating disorders?
It is really obvious to me that he doesn’t understand what civic responsibility is, which is shocking to me because you would think a person in his position is educated enough to know this.
I am a mother of two kids. My daughter is a gorgeous tennis player, and she may never be a size 2, how can one know? But she is cool as heck. My son might fit your target but he is way wiser than you and that makes him way too cool.
Mr. Jeffries, as citizens of humanity we have a responsibility to do the right thing for ourselves as well as for others and that, by the way, is civic responsibility. When your career places you in a position where your words and actions can make an impact on millions of people you better think before you speak. My problem with you is not your marketing strategy; is your insensitive way of communicating it. Next time before you open your mouth, THINK!
I will never buy your clothes and my kids will never wear your clothes again. I refuse to give business to a company whose leader is so irresponsible and careless. Abercrombie & Fitch: my kids are too cool for you.

til next time,

Cynthia

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SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED TO SEE IS A NUMBER

Cortesy of Salary.com

Cortesy of Salary.com

The following post is not of my authorship; nevertheless, it is WORTH reading and sharing.
As a stay at home mom, I struggle with crazy feelings of being unworthy and even a burden instead of a partner. A lot of these feelings are attached to the fact that I don’t bring home a paycheck to contribute to the household expenses.
At times these feelings have landed me on the couch at my therapist office, and other times I have had the clarity of mind to just snap out of it and really see the truth. As much as I know how important my role as a stay at home mom is, sometimes I need to just hear it or read it from someone else.
That’s why I want to share this article with all of you. I really hope it brings perspective to every stay at home mom and to every husband of one, because sometimes all we need to see is a number.
CHEERS!

Stay at Home Moms: Stop Feeling Like You Have no Say in Your Family Finances

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And Then, He Said It…

Gabriel and Camila with Social Medina
I know it is not breaking news to any of you the fact that my adorable kids argue. From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep, they argue.
Arguments over the smallest things like who takes the first sip of juice even when I serve them at the same time. Sometimes they don’t even know why they are argue. But then again, that you already know. I’ve written about this issues before but nothing like this. Yesterday Gabriel and Camila’s arguing escalated to a point I never thought it could. As they were fighting about who was getting the bathtub and who was getting the shower, I heard something I never thought I would hear. apparently Gabriel ran out of mean things to say to Camila and then, he said it. Camila in a panic marinated scream says to me; “MAAAMI, GABRIEL SAID HE IS NOT GOING TO FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM”
When did social media become the way we measure how popular or liked we are? Why is the fact that Gabriel won’t follow her on instagram so threatening to her? Why does he feel so empowered by his prerogative? Has our ability to relate, communicate and impact others, been reduced to a number of followers?
Although these questions were in my mind all I could answer was; “Here is a snapchat for both of you, if you don’t stop fighting I’m going to un-follow both you.”
Who has the upper hand now? CHEERS!

til next time,
Cynthia

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As Ugly as Shrek

Real Beauty
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, we’ve heard this many times and most of those times we use it to defend what we think is beautiful but doesn’t conform to the popular definition of beauty. I think I’m attractive, more so when I have make up on and hair is perfectly placed. People tell me I’m beautiful and sometimes I believe it, but there are times that I feel as ugly as Shrek.
You see? I’m my worst critic and if you ask me what’s wrong with me I can give you a list of things and body parts. My nose is too wide, my hands are too big, my butt is not firm enough, my hips are wiggling their way to Sunday and on and on and on. Why is it so hard for me to see what others see? It is so much easier to find beauty in someone else but myself and often forget that real beauty is the one inside.
I want my 9 year old gorgeous daughter to know how beautiful she is. I want her to be happy with all her body parts, big or small. I want her to understand that the real beauty lies within, that a giving heart and a grateful spirit surpass the illusion we define as beautiful. And I want my 11 year old son to value the real beauty in his future wife and friendships. I want him to crave it and treasure it.
I want my kids to find and conserve their real beauty because once they do, they’ll be able to see it in others too.

I am beautiful so cheers to that 😉

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They Are Looking

photo (3)Today, as I drawn myself in the vast sea of images and news reports about the event that took place in Boston, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and confused. Yes, I know that as Americans and as a country that has overcome and risen stronger from numerous tragedies, we are a resilient nation and know how to come together in moments like this. However, I can’t help but feel a very settle wind of fear and uncertainty specially when thinking about my children’s perspective of all this.
This morning while my son was getting ready for school, he turned on the news in my room. As I heard the tv I ran from the kitchen to my room to turn the tv off because I didn’t want him to have those images in his head specially before going to school. When I got to my room and told him why I didn’t want him watching too much of the news, he looked at me and with a very mature stare (which is really unbelievable the fact that I’m using the word mature when referring to my son) and told me, “Oh Mami, don’t worry. You want to know something? The thing I’ve noticed the most as I watch the news is how people put themselves at risk to help others. I noticed one guy who was bleeding but instead of running away he took off his shirt and wrapped it around another person who was also bleeding. That was nice of him. ” Little did that person know that an 11 year old boy would take notice of that small yet impactful act of kindness. Today my son is a better person because someone decided to put his neighbor first. Our kids are taking notice of the smallest things we most of the time overlook. We should always put others first because that’s the right way to live and love, but if that’s not enough, we should do it because they are looking.

Til next time,
Cynthia

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They Know, Trust Me.

The Ones that drive me crazy but I love them more than life

The Ones that drive me crazy but I love them more than life

As you know by now, I have been blessed with two kids. I have a hormonally flatulent 9 year old beautiful daughter and an imperfection intolerant handsome 10 (soon to be 11) year old son. They are very close in age, seventeen months apart to be exact. I know what you’re thinking “who does that?”, well it was not the plan but I’m glad it worked out the way it did.
Deep inside of me, really deep, I believe my kids love each other. I would like to think the endless arguing that lives in the car, dinner table and everywhere they coexist, is just a front. I don’t think they want to show us the love they feel for each other. Yeah right!
From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep, they are arguing. It’s the worst thing to experience. It’s a situation that is driving me to unthinkable measures. There are moments when I really think I can end up in a mental institution, or at least they think that because of how I react to their arguing.
I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried “the hippie mom method”, you know, whispering voice, smiling and letting them be the natural beings that they are. Peace and love and heck!…it doesn’t work. They get me out of Zen two seconds in.
I’ve tried “the iron mom method”, this one is where you ignore them no matter what’s going on. Nothing makes you flinch. You are as cool as ice. You see no evil, you hear no evil. Couldn’t do it. How can I ignore the fact that they are hitting each other, one can easily make the other bleed and then I would have to clean up the mess.
I’ve tried “The drama queen method” where I just scream in a very dramatic way, in the middle of them arguing: “Oh No, what did I ever do to deserve this pain. My children don’t love each other. There is nothing more painful for a parent than to see her kids fight and argue. Guys please stop this because I don’t think my heart can take it.” Couldn’t keep it up for too long. They know that before they kill me, I’ll…they know, trust me.
I’m currently using “The crazy, lunatic, mentally unstable mom method”. Say we are in the car and they start their annoyance, I wait and wait and wait and then all of a sudden I scream OMG!!!!!! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! Sometimes I stop the car and tell them to get out (not that I would let them, but…). Sometimes I just scream one of their names in the same manner and that’s been getting their attention. They get a little nervous because they know, oh they know, trust me. They know their old school, raised in the islands, Dominican mama is crazy and she will always get her way. So until this method fails I will continue and then it will be on to the next one. But until then, lord have Mercy on THEIR souls, CHEERS!

Til next time,
Cynthia

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