Category Archives: Self-awareness

SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED TO SEE IS A NUMBER

Cortesy of Salary.com

Cortesy of Salary.com

The following post is not of my authorship; nevertheless, it is WORTH reading and sharing.
As a stay at home mom, I struggle with crazy feelings of being unworthy and even a burden instead of a partner. A lot of these feelings are attached to the fact that I don’t bring home a paycheck to contribute to the household expenses.
At times these feelings have landed me on the couch at my therapist office, and other times I have had the clarity of mind to just snap out of it and really see the truth. As much as I know how important my role as a stay at home mom is, sometimes I need to just hear it or read it from someone else.
That’s why I want to share this article with all of you. I really hope it brings perspective to every stay at home mom and to every husband of one, because sometimes all we need to see is a number.
CHEERS!

Stay at Home Moms: Stop Feeling Like You Have no Say in Your Family Finances

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I’m Not A Helicopter Mom, I’m Just Protecting My Kids

I'm just Protecting my kids
A few days ago we, as a nation, were pleasantly surprised by the resurfacing of the three Cleveland women who had been kidnapped a decade ago. Ten years! My son was only one year old when one of them was taken. He just got back from a school trip with his fifth grade class. He was gone for 8 days and the separation anxiety nearly killed me. I can’t even try to understand what these families went through all these years.
Another woman was taken nine years ago, my daughter is nine! I can’t help but think about all the joy I have experienced all these years while these women and their families have been grieving and desperately keeping their hope alive.
A lot of people see me and probably think that I am a crazy, overprotective mom. Well, they are right. I’m crazy about my kids and I’ll do ANYTHING to protect them. Heck, they might categorize me as a helicopter mom for all I care. See, I know I won’t be able to protect them from everything but whatever is in my capacity I will do.
A couple of nights ago there was joy in the homes of these women, but often that’s not the case thanks to the terminal illness we are suffering from as a country- human trafficking. People think it is only happening in other countries where the education rate is in the single digits and where technology is scarce, not realizing that it is happening here in our own cities, in our own backyard. I’m sure we could have more good news and more celebrations in homes from more found victims if we were to look beyond the surface. Let’s pay attention to our surroundings because we could be the ones bringing the good news to a grieving family.
Stories like this, like of these Cleveland women, let me know that I’m doing my kids a service by being protective and aware of what’s going on in the world. People may look at me and think I need to loosen up a bit and that’s fine if they want to think that. I have been entrusted with my two kids and I will do anything in my power to keep them safe. I’m not a helicopter mom, I’m just protecting my kids.
I raise my glass to these families and partake in their joy, CHEERS!

til next time,
Cynthia

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As Ugly as Shrek

Real Beauty
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, we’ve heard this many times and most of those times we use it to defend what we think is beautiful but doesn’t conform to the popular definition of beauty. I think I’m attractive, more so when I have make up on and hair is perfectly placed. People tell me I’m beautiful and sometimes I believe it, but there are times that I feel as ugly as Shrek.
You see? I’m my worst critic and if you ask me what’s wrong with me I can give you a list of things and body parts. My nose is too wide, my hands are too big, my butt is not firm enough, my hips are wiggling their way to Sunday and on and on and on. Why is it so hard for me to see what others see? It is so much easier to find beauty in someone else but myself and often forget that real beauty is the one inside.
I want my 9 year old gorgeous daughter to know how beautiful she is. I want her to be happy with all her body parts, big or small. I want her to understand that the real beauty lies within, that a giving heart and a grateful spirit surpass the illusion we define as beautiful. And I want my 11 year old son to value the real beauty in his future wife and friendships. I want him to crave it and treasure it.
I want my kids to find and conserve their real beauty because once they do, they’ll be able to see it in others too.

I am beautiful so cheers to that ūüėČ

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They Are Looking

photo (3)Today, as I drawn myself in the vast sea of images and news reports about the event that took place in Boston, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and confused. Yes, I know that as Americans and as a country that has overcome and risen stronger from numerous tragedies, we are a resilient nation and know how to come together in moments like this. However, I can’t help but feel a very settle wind of fear and uncertainty specially when thinking about my children’s perspective of all this.
This morning while my son was getting ready for school, he turned on the news in my room. As I heard the tv I ran from the kitchen to my room to turn the tv off because I didn’t want him to have those images in his head specially before going to school. When I got to my room and told him why I didn’t want him watching too much of the news, he looked at me and with a very mature stare (which is really unbelievable the fact that I’m using the word mature when referring to my son) and told me, “Oh Mami, don’t worry. You want to know something? The thing I’ve noticed the most as I watch the news is how people put themselves at risk to help others. I noticed one guy who was bleeding but instead of running away he took off his shirt and wrapped it around another person who was also bleeding. That was nice of him. ” Little did that person know that an 11 year old boy would take notice of that small yet impactful act of kindness. Today my son is a better person because someone decided to put his neighbor first. Our kids are taking notice of the smallest things we most of the time overlook. We should always put others first because that’s the right way to live and love, but if that’s not enough, we should do it because they are looking.

Til next time,
Cynthia

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A “Thank You” Note To Dr. Carl June

photo (1)This is a note I wrote to Dr. Carl June a few months ago.

Dear Doctor June,
My name is Cynthia Medina. I reside in California. with my family.
For a long time my kids, Gabriel 10 and Camila 9, have said what they want to be when they grow up. Gabriel has told us that he is going to be a scientist that will invent a machine to stop me from getting old (you can just imagine how hopeful that makes me) :). On the other hand, Camila has always said that she will be a kid’s doctor and that she will find the cure for cancer. For a few years now we’ve gotten used to the idea; however, the other day something happened.
My son came home from school and sat on the computer to research a doctor from Japan that his teacher had been¬†talking about in class. My son told me that his teacher said this¬†Japanese¬†doctor was able to re-train a cancer cell to kill itself. To be honest with you, I haven’t read anything on it and we can’t even find anything about it online, but¬†my son¬†can’t stop talking about¬†it.¬† Now that my son knows that scientists can do these tricky things and can help people with their findings, he wants to be the one to find¬†a cure for cancer.¬† And there¬†goes my hope for eternal youth. During his research for the Japanese doctor, he came across your article “Chimeric Antigen Receptor-Modified T Cells in Chronic Lymphoid Leukemia”. ¬†He read a little bit and, together with me,¬†googled¬†most of it to be able to understand the terminology.¬†¬†Since¬†that day , he has been talking about Dr. Carl June.¬†
He is now working on a school project called “Using Your Wits”. For this project he has to pick a person and explain how he/she used his/her wits and what difference that has¬†made or will make in the world. Guess what Dr. June? My son has picked you. ¬†He is starting his report about Dr. Carl June, the¬†doctor who was able to cure a person from Leukemia.¬†
The reason for this¬†note is to let you know that you have inspired my son to be great. You have¬†enlightened¬†his young mind with wonder and desire. He wants to know more, he wants to do more and that’s because of what you have already accomplished. While you were working on your studies, you probably never thought a ten year old boy¬†was going to¬†read your article and would be inspired to do even greater things.
For that, I just want to thank you.
Sincerely,
Cynthia Medina
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Arriba, Arriba!

Google image

Google image

Today was the first day back to school after winter break. Three weeks of sleeping in until whatever time, no tennis practice, dinning out almost every night and going to bed whenever our eyes gave up.¬† Parties almost every weekend and all the food and drinks that come with them. It was great just to be off the routine for a bit.¬† I didn’t post on my blog for a month,¬†believe me, I wanted to.¬†¬†But as much as I tried, I just¬†didn’t have the creative juice flowing. ¬†A lot of it had to do with the tragedy we suffered as a country that grey unforgettable¬†Friday morning. That event took away all my focus and creativity for a while. How could I be funny? What could I possibly write about when so many families were¬†experiencing the most unimaginable tragedy? I decided to respect and be quiet.

Today I’m back, back in every aspect. Back to waking up¬†at 6 am, back to morning madness, to working out, to picking up around the house. Back to tennis practice and crazy homework time, back to songwriting and back to my blog. Yes I’m back. So much so that this morning I had no problem waking up. It was easy getting the kids out of bed and ready.¬† Made breakfast and lunches and they were at school by¬†7:40 am. I came back home and got on Speedy Gonz√°lez mode. I went into my daughter’s room and started to organize her closet, then her drawers and then her desk.¬†Dressed¬†all her naked dolls with all the doll clothes that were¬†spread all over her room and the amount of trash I gathered¬†was unbelievable. I mean how is it possible for a 9 year old girl to accumulate so much garbage? Anyway, I finished her room and then cleaned a bathroom and to my surprise when I looked at the clock it was only¬†8:45 am. It feels like I had been hibernating for three weeks and I finally woke up today.

So here is to a great year, a year of action and growth. A year where we’ll use our voices to make things better. A year of no excuses and no regrets. A year that we can look back on and see the great difference we made just by doing our part.¬† Life is way too short so let’s live it wisely.

As for Speedy Gonzalez, he got nothing on me.  Arriba, Arriba!  Cheers!!!

Til next time,

Cynthia

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Fragile

Today I found out that my daughter’s friend’s dad passed away last Friday. He was not sick, he was only 43 years old.¬† He was coaching his daughter’s soccer team when he collapsed. ¬†He woke up that day and went on to do everything like he normally did, not¬†knowing it was his last day.

I wonder what would have been done differently had he and his family known it was his last day.¬† Would he had taken an extra minute that morning to actually look at his kids and wish them a good day? Would he had told his wife one more “I love you”? Would he had gone to work and let his co-workers know how much he appreciated them? Would he had let that little comment bother him? Would he had let the person at the stop sign go first? I wonder what would he had done differently had he known.

And, what about those left behind? Would they had told him how appreciated he was?¬† Would they had taken the time to ask him what was bothering him instead of judging him for being grumpy? Would they had just taken one more second to put their arms around his shoulders and say thank you?¬† I don’t know what kind of relationship they had, maybe they did take the time to be present in each other’s lives but, I don’t really know.
All I know is, I go day to day sweating the small stuff and sometimes forgetting  what is really important.  The reality is, life is like a flower, in the morning it blooms and by the time evening comes, after the sun hits it and winds blow at it, is dead. Life is so fragile. I must prepare to live a hundred years but I will live today like is my last.

Til next time

Cynthia

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Cynthia’s Voyage

For the pass two weeks, I have been buried under a mountain of Wikipedia  print outs, drawings and books. I have been working on a social studies project about the great explorers.  The explorer I worked on was Ferdinand Magellan.
I learned that he was born in Portugal and by the time he was ten his parents had died. I learned that he studied previous explorers like Christopher Columbus and wanted to be one himself. I learned he served his country by fighting in battles in other places and actually got hurt and had a permanent limp. Don’t ask me why this limping information is important, it’s in the books ūüôā
I learned that he moved to Spain to follow his dream of circumnavigating the world.  I learned he was a key piece in the future of world exploration. I mean,  I learned about this dude all there is to learn.
Magellan’s life was short but significant. To this day, we are still reaping¬† the fruit of his journey. I couldn’t help but ask myself these questions; what will be said about me when I’m gone?¬† How will I be remembered? In what way will I have influenced the world? I don’t have the answer to these questions all I can do is work hard at what I believe I have been called to do.
I sure learned about Magellan, the question is, did my son? It was his project ūüėČ Cheers!

Til next time,

Cynthia

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“Let Me Guess, A Lazy Day For You Mami?”

“Mami, what’s for dinner?” ¬†The very first question I get asked every day when I pick up my kids from school. ¬†Sometimes my respose is well received, becuase the menu sounds appealing and to their liking, but other days, like yesterday, my respons,e is not welcomed and it paints a frawn on their faces. “Today we are having leftovers for dinner” “leftovers!, why? Let me guess, a lazy day today for you mammy?” – Did this creature just say that?. ¬†Is this child out of her mind? Is she aware of ¬†the fact that comments like that can be dangerous and sometimes even fatal? Lazy day!? ¬†Of course all these thoughts are crossing through my mind in a matters of milliseconds and all I can actually articulate is “no little girl, it’s been a really busy day for me and last night I cooked enough food for two days, it won’t kill you if you eat the same thing again tonight”.

So many times I do things expecting my kids, husband or ¬†people in general – did I mention¬†my husband?- to interpret the real motive. Most times, I don’t get the reaction¬†I hope for¬†and that leaves me feeling unappreciated and frustrated.¬† But the reality is they don’t know any better.¬† For my lovely 9 year old little human, placed in my life to teach me lessons, my serving leftovers for dinner meant a lazy day for mami. In reality, however, it was the total opposite. ¬†Oh, the complexities of communication. I’m not only a victim in this, I’m also guilty of doing the same, specially to my husband. How many times has he done something meaning a completely different thing than what I think or strongly believe he meant.¬† It’s crazy if you really think about it. ¬†As I write, I realize that what I need to do is clearly say what I mean and be understanding when I’m on the other side. If I’m the one relating the message, say it clearly and if I’m the one receiving the message be open minded and understand that when he asks me if I put¬†pepper in the¬†chicken he is not saying the chicken is under seasoned he is probably saying he likes the way I seasoned it today.¬†The issue is not always how he says it, it’s how I hear it and a lot of times is how I don’t say it. This whole communication thing is kind of tricky but I’ll get it some day.¬†¬†Now, how do I say this?..oh, CHEERS ūüôā

til next time,

Cynthia

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I Dig It

I don’t know what’s going on with me but lately I have been thinking, more often than not, about every connection I make. I’m at a point in my life where I feel a sense of urgency. I feel as if I was running out of time and needed to make every minute count. Is a “don’t waste your time on what’s not important” ¬†kind of thing.

It’s been interesting in a way because now I find myself reflecting on every smile I give or get and every word exchange. ¬†I have become aware of meaningful connections.
Questions like, “why did I meet this person? Why did this person come into my life? Am I suppose to fulfill a purpose in this person’s life?”
I mean, what’s going on?
I didn’t want to link these feelings to the quickly approaching 40’s, just because I didn’t want to go there. ¬†Maybe I’m getting older after all! Didn’t see that one coming ūüôā

When I spoke with my therapist about what I was feeling she said that, considering this particular chronological time in my life, it sounded as if I was in or about to go through what she calls “transition period”, which some people also refer to as “midlife crisis.” ¬†“But I thought midlife crisis was about getting the red corvette and wanting to be twenty again” I said. ¬†She went on to explain what transition period is and how it is different for everybody.
Who knew, midlife crisis or “transition period” could actually be good. I’m trying to make each minute I’m in contact with someone count. ¬†If that’s what my midlife crisis is about, then I dig it ūüėČ CHEERS!
til next time,
Cynthia
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