Tag Archives: Motherhood

Abercrombie & Fitch: My Kids Are Too Cool For You

Abercrombie & Fitch

I haven’t been the one to constantly be offering my two cents on politics or any other controversial issues. However, today I can’t keep quiet. Abercrombie & Fitch really stroke a cord in me this week. The comments perfunctorily made by this company’s CEO really show how shallow and irresponsible he is, reflecting badly on his company. I understand branding and marketing but to go as far as naming his target market “the cool kids” makes me angry. What is that saying to the kid that will never be a size 2? What is the message being heard by that girl and boy who has been struggling with self-image issues and/or eating disorders?
It is really obvious to me that he doesn’t understand what civic responsibility is, which is shocking to me because you would think a person in his position is educated enough to know this.
I am a mother of two kids. My daughter is a gorgeous tennis player, and she may never be a size 2, how can one know? But she is cool as heck. My son might fit your target but he is way wiser than you and that makes him way too cool.
Mr. Jeffries, as citizens of humanity we have a responsibility to do the right thing for ourselves as well as for others and that, by the way, is civic responsibility. When your career places you in a position where your words and actions can make an impact on millions of people you better think before you speak. My problem with you is not your marketing strategy; is your insensitive way of communicating it. Next time before you open your mouth, THINK!
I will never buy your clothes and my kids will never wear your clothes again. I refuse to give business to a company whose leader is so irresponsible and careless. Abercrombie & Fitch: my kids are too cool for you.

til next time,

Cynthia

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SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED TO SEE IS A NUMBER

Cortesy of Salary.com

Cortesy of Salary.com

The following post is not of my authorship; nevertheless, it is WORTH reading and sharing.
As a stay at home mom, I struggle with crazy feelings of being unworthy and even a burden instead of a partner. A lot of these feelings are attached to the fact that I don’t bring home a paycheck to contribute to the household expenses.
At times these feelings have landed me on the couch at my therapist office, and other times I have had the clarity of mind to just snap out of it and really see the truth. As much as I know how important my role as a stay at home mom is, sometimes I need to just hear it or read it from someone else.
That’s why I want to share this article with all of you. I really hope it brings perspective to every stay at home mom and to every husband of one, because sometimes all we need to see is a number.
CHEERS!

Stay at Home Moms: Stop Feeling Like You Have no Say in Your Family Finances

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They Are Looking

photo (3)Today, as I drawn myself in the vast sea of images and news reports about the event that took place in Boston, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and confused. Yes, I know that as Americans and as a country that has overcome and risen stronger from numerous tragedies, we are a resilient nation and know how to come together in moments like this. However, I can’t help but feel a very settle wind of fear and uncertainty specially when thinking about my children’s perspective of all this.
This morning while my son was getting ready for school, he turned on the news in my room. As I heard the tv I ran from the kitchen to my room to turn the tv off because I didn’t want him to have those images in his head specially before going to school. When I got to my room and told him why I didn’t want him watching too much of the news, he looked at me and with a very mature stare (which is really unbelievable the fact that I’m using the word mature when referring to my son) and told me, “Oh Mami, don’t worry. You want to know something? The thing I’ve noticed the most as I watch the news is how people put themselves at risk to help others. I noticed one guy who was bleeding but instead of running away he took off his shirt and wrapped it around another person who was also bleeding. That was nice of him. ” Little did that person know that an 11 year old boy would take notice of that small yet impactful act of kindness. Today my son is a better person because someone decided to put his neighbor first. Our kids are taking notice of the smallest things we most of the time overlook. We should always put others first because that’s the right way to live and love, but if that’s not enough, we should do it because they are looking.

Til next time,
Cynthia

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They Know, Trust Me.

The Ones that drive me crazy but I love them more than life

The Ones that drive me crazy but I love them more than life

As you know by now, I have been blessed with two kids. I have a hormonally flatulent 9 year old beautiful daughter and an imperfection intolerant handsome 10 (soon to be 11) year old son. They are very close in age, seventeen months apart to be exact. I know what you’re thinking “who does that?”, well it was not the plan but I’m glad it worked out the way it did.
Deep inside of me, really deep, I believe my kids love each other. I would like to think the endless arguing that lives in the car, dinner table and everywhere they coexist, is just a front. I don’t think they want to show us the love they feel for each other. Yeah right!
From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep, they are arguing. It’s the worst thing to experience. It’s a situation that is driving me to unthinkable measures. There are moments when I really think I can end up in a mental institution, or at least they think that because of how I react to their arguing.
I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried “the hippie mom method”, you know, whispering voice, smiling and letting them be the natural beings that they are. Peace and love and heck!…it doesn’t work. They get me out of Zen two seconds in.
I’ve tried “the iron mom method”, this one is where you ignore them no matter what’s going on. Nothing makes you flinch. You are as cool as ice. You see no evil, you hear no evil. Couldn’t do it. How can I ignore the fact that they are hitting each other, one can easily make the other bleed and then I would have to clean up the mess.
I’ve tried “The drama queen method” where I just scream in a very dramatic way, in the middle of them arguing: “Oh No, what did I ever do to deserve this pain. My children don’t love each other. There is nothing more painful for a parent than to see her kids fight and argue. Guys please stop this because I don’t think my heart can take it.” Couldn’t keep it up for too long. They know that before they kill me, I’ll…they know, trust me.
I’m currently using “The crazy, lunatic, mentally unstable mom method”. Say we are in the car and they start their annoyance, I wait and wait and wait and then all of a sudden I scream OMG!!!!!! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! Sometimes I stop the car and tell them to get out (not that I would let them, but…). Sometimes I just scream one of their names in the same manner and that’s been getting their attention. They get a little nervous because they know, oh they know, trust me. They know their old school, raised in the islands, Dominican mama is crazy and she will always get her way. So until this method fails I will continue and then it will be on to the next one. But until then, lord have Mercy on THEIR souls, CHEERS!

Til next time,
Cynthia

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Arriba, Arriba!

Google image

Google image

Today was the first day back to school after winter break. Three weeks of sleeping in until whatever time, no tennis practice, dinning out almost every night and going to bed whenever our eyes gave up.  Parties almost every weekend and all the food and drinks that come with them. It was great just to be off the routine for a bit.  I didn’t post on my blog for a month, believe me, I wanted to.  But as much as I tried, I just didn’t have the creative juice flowing.  A lot of it had to do with the tragedy we suffered as a country that grey unforgettable Friday morning. That event took away all my focus and creativity for a while. How could I be funny? What could I possibly write about when so many families were experiencing the most unimaginable tragedy? I decided to respect and be quiet.

Today I’m back, back in every aspect. Back to waking up at 6 am, back to morning madness, to working out, to picking up around the house. Back to tennis practice and crazy homework time, back to songwriting and back to my blog. Yes I’m back. So much so that this morning I had no problem waking up. It was easy getting the kids out of bed and ready.  Made breakfast and lunches and they were at school by 7:40 am. I came back home and got on Speedy González mode. I went into my daughter’s room and started to organize her closet, then her drawers and then her desk. Dressed all her naked dolls with all the doll clothes that were spread all over her room and the amount of trash I gathered was unbelievable. I mean how is it possible for a 9 year old girl to accumulate so much garbage? Anyway, I finished her room and then cleaned a bathroom and to my surprise when I looked at the clock it was only 8:45 am. It feels like I had been hibernating for three weeks and I finally woke up today.

So here is to a great year, a year of action and growth. A year where we’ll use our voices to make things better. A year of no excuses and no regrets. A year that we can look back on and see the great difference we made just by doing our part.  Life is way too short so let’s live it wisely.

As for Speedy Gonzalez, he got nothing on me.  Arriba, Arriba!  Cheers!!!

Til next time,

Cynthia

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Ciao Bella!

20121211-171119.jpgThis morning I got out of bed and sleep walked to my espresso maker as I do every morning. I pressed the button to turn it on and got no reaction. I unplugged it and plugged it again and got no reaction. At this point I’m waking up because panic is taking over my body. “No, no, no! Come on baby stay with me, stay with me”. But after trying for a few minutes I got a flat line. It had decided to quit on me. Do you all know what this means? Anyway, I managed to make the kids breakfast and take them to school. As I walked into the school campus, I remembered I needed to speak to my son’s teacher. I will refer to him as Mr. You. I went up to him and tried to make eye contact but, those of you that know him know that’s close to impossible. So I went on and started to talk to him just to get interrupted by him and blown off. “Yeah yeah I know…blah blah blah” he says as he walks away from me.

Now, you all remember that my morning had, up to that point, been traumatic enough. My espresso maker is dead and I’m still seeing in black and white. I haven’t had my coffee, right? As he walks away I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and all I want to do is follow his behind and give him a piece of my mind. I mean I got tunnel vision, it was like if hulk was about to appear, but instead, I walked away.
Mr. You is a very interesting being. He has a way of communicating that I still don’t understand and, quite frankly, I don’t care to. I know he is a “good teacher” and all, but man…
It is very difficult to communicate with him and more so for my Dominican self.
So with my tragic loss and communication glitch you can conclude that my morning was indeed a challenging one.
To my espresso machine, I’m sorry I worked you to your max. You and I were really good together. I won’t forget how warmly you greeted me every morning and afternoon- it was like you were saying “Ciao Bella” in a sexy Italian accent, every time. You were very important to me. However, I need to move on. I grieved for an hour or two and now I need to move on to a better you. It’s time for an upgrade. And like Beyonce would say “I’m gonna upgrade ya” 😛
As per Mr. You, well…
I’m sorry you don’t like talking to parents. But guess what Mr. You, I will talk to you anyway. I will walk behind you and continue to talk to you when you walk away from me. I will ask as many times as I need to until I get my answer. I will repeat myself twenty seven million times whenever you pull the “I don’t understand what you’re saying because of your accent” card. You see, God has entrusted me with my son’s life. I’m responsible for raising a man of integrity and honor. My kids are my most precious possession and I would do ANYTHING to ensure their well being. Besides, you should be thanking the heck out of me for making your job a lot easier. I reteach my son everything you “teach” him. The reason your scores are so high is because of parents like me. Parents who care and are involved. Parents who ask and ask and ask questions just like I do. It is for you to endure me, not the other way around.
So for now, ciao Mr. You.
I will now raise a glass to celebrate and welcome my new love who is coming home in about two hours. My new upgrade espresso machine. Cheers!

Til next time

Cynthia

 

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Little Big Hearts

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We’ve had a bunny for almost a year. His name is Fluffy. Beautiful little rabbit with a peculiar trait, one eye blue and the other brown. Fluffy’s house is really nice – rich wood, two levels, I’m telling you, a nice crip.

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He is a part of our family, the joy of every play date. Camila walks him on a stroller, she even put a dipper on him the other day. Fluffy is really special to my kids and for that reason, to all of us.
Unfortunately, fluffy passed away yesterday and my babies are extremely sad and heart broken. Last night they cried so much I didn’t know what to do to make it better for them. They cried until they fell asleep just to wake up and cry again. My son said to me, “Mami we are supposed to be happy, it’s the holidays” while crying 😦
Death is a part of our reality that we must face. It is so hard to explain to a nine and a ten year old. Nikki, their tennis coach, told them that Fluffy was a star and that they could always look up to the sky and see him. Unfortunately, it was cloudy last night and we couldn’t see stars. The truth is Fluffy is not physically with us and that makes my kids really sad. I just hope their little big hearts can heal soon so they don’t hurt.
Fluffy will always be our bunny.

Til next time

Cynthia

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“Let Me Guess, A Lazy Day For You Mami?”

“Mami, what’s for dinner?”  The very first question I get asked every day when I pick up my kids from school.  Sometimes my respose is well received, becuase the menu sounds appealing and to their liking, but other days, like yesterday, my respons,e is not welcomed and it paints a frawn on their faces. “Today we are having leftovers for dinner” “leftovers!, why? Let me guess, a lazy day today for you mammy?” – Did this creature just say that?.  Is this child out of her mind? Is she aware of  the fact that comments like that can be dangerous and sometimes even fatal? Lazy day!?  Of course all these thoughts are crossing through my mind in a matters of milliseconds and all I can actually articulate is “no little girl, it’s been a really busy day for me and last night I cooked enough food for two days, it won’t kill you if you eat the same thing again tonight”.

So many times I do things expecting my kids, husband or  people in general – did I mention my husband?- to interpret the real motive. Most times, I don’t get the reaction I hope for and that leaves me feeling unappreciated and frustrated.  But the reality is they don’t know any better.  For my lovely 9 year old little human, placed in my life to teach me lessons, my serving leftovers for dinner meant a lazy day for mami. In reality, however, it was the total opposite.  Oh, the complexities of communication. I’m not only a victim in this, I’m also guilty of doing the same, specially to my husband. How many times has he done something meaning a completely different thing than what I think or strongly believe he meant.  It’s crazy if you really think about it.  As I write, I realize that what I need to do is clearly say what I mean and be understanding when I’m on the other side. If I’m the one relating the message, say it clearly and if I’m the one receiving the message be open minded and understand that when he asks me if I put pepper in the chicken he is not saying the chicken is under seasoned he is probably saying he likes the way I seasoned it today. The issue is not always how he says it, it’s how I hear it and a lot of times is how I don’t say it. This whole communication thing is kind of tricky but I’ll get it some day.  Now, how do I say this?..oh, CHEERS 🙂

til next time,

Cynthia

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Double Yellow Lines

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My kids have been playing tennis for about five years. For five years I’ve been driving them to the club for practice, getting in and out and parking without ever thinking there is something wrong with the way I’m doing things, it’s all I know.

Well…on Friday I got pulled over by a cop as I pulled into the parking lot at the tennis club. “Oh no, what did I do?” I said out loud as I reassessed everyone in the car to make sure I hadn’t missed anything – like an unbuckled seatbelt or something. I got so nervous because I never get pulled over, that’s not supposed to happened to me. My armpits are tingling and sweating, I feel perspiration coming everywhere in my body and my heart is beating out of my chest as the officer approaches my car. “Ma’am ma’am ma’am you can’t make a left turn over double solid yellow lines and on top of it you stopped traffic, you could have caused an accident” all I wanted to say was “me don’t speak English” but I couldn’t…my kids were in the car and they would not let me get away with it. Anyway, all I could say was ” but I’ve been turning there for five years” to what he replied “yes ma’am but that doesn’t mean is not wrong and illegal.” He went on to ask me for license, registration and proof of insurance which I provided and then, after checking everything he let me go with just a warning.

Five years doing the exact same thing and never thought about it until this officer explains it and I actually see it clearly. I’ve been doing the same thing with myself for a long time, so long that it doesn’t feel wrong anymore. I’ve been so hard and cruel, demanding perfection and judging myself in such a way that is wrong. Demanding perfection as a mother, as a wife, as a woman. Trying to conform to what media says “beautiful” is. Trying to get validation by saying how exhausted I am at the end of the day to show how valuable I am as a stay home mom. With the stupid mentality that the more I do, the more I’m worth. Well, it’s time for me to tell myself “ma’am ma’am ma’am you can’t do that to yourself anymore and the fact that you’ve been doing it for so long doesn’t mean is not wrong”. It’s time to change the way I look at myself and my role as wife, mother and homemaker. It’s time to know who I am and not define myself by what I do. Yes, it’s about time.

Til next time,

Cynthia

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“And This Is How You Don’t Burn The Bacon Like Mami Does”

This morning was a very interesting one for me. Kids were getting ready and I’m in the kitchen making my cappuccino first, of course, and making their breakfast. I make eggs, bread in toaster and I start to cook the bacon. Suddenly, my son runs to the kitchen and abruptly tells me ” stop! I’ll cook the bacon”. “OOOO-K” I said, looking at him like a third eye had just grown in the middle of his forehead. He told me, ” Don’t worry mami, I just want to cook the bacon. I am the bacon expert.” So I let him. He cut the turkey bacon strips in half and put them in the pan and started sizzling away while singing “I’m sexy and I know it” and doing the respective dace moves. It was a sight to enjoy while drinking my double cappuccino.

I finished buttering the toasts and serving the eggs. He placed the bacon on his open face sandwich and says,  ”AND THIS IS HOW YOU DON’T BURN THE BACON LIKE MAMI DOES, TAH TAHHH”.
“Did he just say that?” I asked myself and then I said, ” little boy normally when I cook the bacon I’m also cooking the eggs and buttering the toast while serving your orange juice and making my coffee AT-THE-SAME-TIME. Sorry for overcooking your bacon” (with an overload of sarcasm).

I had two choices at that point. Do I let this comment take over my emotions and make me feel inadequate? I mean who burns bacon? My own kid feels the need to cook the bacon himself because I always fail at it. Or I could just decide to look at it and say,  ”Good, from now on you are in charge of the bacon station .” I chose the second option and I think I’m going to take it even further. I thinking maybe I’ll start burning dinner , who knows maybe they’ll take over dinner too.   Life is just how you look at it.

Enjoy your weekend,  CHEERS!

Til next time

Cynthia

 

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