Tag Archives: parenthood

Abercrombie & Fitch: My Kids Are Too Cool For You

Abercrombie & Fitch

I haven’t been the one to constantly be offering my two cents on politics or any other controversial issues. However, today I can’t keep quiet. Abercrombie & Fitch really stroke a cord in me this week. The comments perfunctorily made by this company’s CEO really show how shallow and irresponsible he is, reflecting badly on his company. I understand branding and marketing but to go as far as naming his target market “the cool kids” makes me angry. What is that saying to the kid that will never be a size 2? What is the message being heard by that girl and boy who has been struggling with self-image issues and/or eating disorders?
It is really obvious to me that he doesn’t understand what civic responsibility is, which is shocking to me because you would think a person in his position is educated enough to know this.
I am a mother of two kids. My daughter is a gorgeous tennis player, and she may never be a size 2, how can one know? But she is cool as heck. My son might fit your target but he is way wiser than you and that makes him way too cool.
Mr. Jeffries, as citizens of humanity we have a responsibility to do the right thing for ourselves as well as for others and that, by the way, is civic responsibility. When your career places you in a position where your words and actions can make an impact on millions of people you better think before you speak. My problem with you is not your marketing strategy; is your insensitive way of communicating it. Next time before you open your mouth, THINK!
I will never buy your clothes and my kids will never wear your clothes again. I refuse to give business to a company whose leader is so irresponsible and careless. Abercrombie & Fitch: my kids are too cool for you.

til next time,

Cynthia

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Water or Wine?

Water or Wine?

Water or Wine?

On Wednesday and Thursday my baby girl stayed home because she was sick. She had a high fever that wouldn’t break, a headache, and a sore throat. I took her to the doctor first thing Wednesday morning. They did the whole “open your mouth and say aah” thing and sure enough, STREP. Right away she was given the prescription for the antidote and off we went to the pharmacy. While we waited, we decided to go next door to get something to drink and that’s when it all began. Camila was faced with a choice, water or juice? It might seem like a very simple thing, but in that moment it wasn’t. It was a split-second where she knew what was better for her, and she also knew what I would rather her have yet, she hesitated.
I’m trying (with emphasis on “trying”) to teach my kids to stop and think before making a decision. I want them to be able to use that second to assess the situation and figure out what is the best thing to do, while also taking under consideration the values they are being taught. For some reason my efforts have given me faster results with my daughter. I can see her thinking and for the most part, she makes good decisions. On the other hand, my son often realizes what the right choice was after his cards have been read and a two-week without tv sentence is in his horizon. A lot has to do with not being shame resilient yet (I’m also trying to teach them that). It’s hard for him, and most boys for that matter, to stop and think in the middle of feeling embarrassed or belittled. I get it, it happens to me too. However, as an adult, I also know and understand that there are consequences to every action. He is learning and I know he will get there. Meanwhile, I’ll pray that I don’t get a phone call from school saying that he is at the office or that he doesn’t get any more tv time taken away. God knows I need him to be able to watch tv Saturday mornings so I can sleep in.
I won’t be able to make choices for them, all the time, so they must learn. As of Camila, I’m so glad she knew water was better for her. I too, get faced with a similar choice, water or wine?… and I always go for the wine 😉
Cheers!

til next time,
Cynthia

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They Are Looking

photo (3)Today, as I drawn myself in the vast sea of images and news reports about the event that took place in Boston, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and confused. Yes, I know that as Americans and as a country that has overcome and risen stronger from numerous tragedies, we are a resilient nation and know how to come together in moments like this. However, I can’t help but feel a very settle wind of fear and uncertainty specially when thinking about my children’s perspective of all this.
This morning while my son was getting ready for school, he turned on the news in my room. As I heard the tv I ran from the kitchen to my room to turn the tv off because I didn’t want him to have those images in his head specially before going to school. When I got to my room and told him why I didn’t want him watching too much of the news, he looked at me and with a very mature stare (which is really unbelievable the fact that I’m using the word mature when referring to my son) and told me, “Oh Mami, don’t worry. You want to know something? The thing I’ve noticed the most as I watch the news is how people put themselves at risk to help others. I noticed one guy who was bleeding but instead of running away he took off his shirt and wrapped it around another person who was also bleeding. That was nice of him. ” Little did that person know that an 11 year old boy would take notice of that small yet impactful act of kindness. Today my son is a better person because someone decided to put his neighbor first. Our kids are taking notice of the smallest things we most of the time overlook. We should always put others first because that’s the right way to live and love, but if that’s not enough, we should do it because they are looking.

Til next time,
Cynthia

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Little Big Hearts

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We’ve had a bunny for almost a year. His name is Fluffy. Beautiful little rabbit with a peculiar trait, one eye blue and the other brown. Fluffy’s house is really nice – rich wood, two levels, I’m telling you, a nice crip.

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He is a part of our family, the joy of every play date. Camila walks him on a stroller, she even put a dipper on him the other day. Fluffy is really special to my kids and for that reason, to all of us.
Unfortunately, fluffy passed away yesterday and my babies are extremely sad and heart broken. Last night they cried so much I didn’t know what to do to make it better for them. They cried until they fell asleep just to wake up and cry again. My son said to me, “Mami we are supposed to be happy, it’s the holidays” while crying 😦
Death is a part of our reality that we must face. It is so hard to explain to a nine and a ten year old. Nikki, their tennis coach, told them that Fluffy was a star and that they could always look up to the sky and see him. Unfortunately, it was cloudy last night and we couldn’t see stars. The truth is Fluffy is not physically with us and that makes my kids really sad. I just hope their little big hearts can heal soon so they don’t hurt.
Fluffy will always be our bunny.

Til next time

Cynthia

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A Trip To Outer Space?

Yesterday we decided to take it easy and make it a chill Sunday. Gabriel had spent the night at his friend’s house (second sleepover ever outside of family) and his tennis match was canceled due to the unpredictable weather. My husband had to work today so it was just the three of us.
They asked me to make them homemade Mac and cheese. I did a healthy version of it and they loved it. We ate and it was time to clean the kitchen. Everyone went on to a task. Gabriel started to empty the dishwasher, Camila cleared the table and as I rinsed the dirty dishes to place them in the dishwasher, it happened, Gabriel asked, “Mami, can I have a swiss bank account?”. Everything got in slow motion. “A Swiss bank account honey? Well, I would like one too but unfortunately I didn’t win the power ball”, I replied. And as if he could sense my sarcasm he said “mami, I’m serious” To what I answered “so am I”.
A Swiss bank account…really? Whatever happened to “I want an Xbox or a bike? Lord help me. What will be next? A trip to outer space? Wish me luck, Cheers.

Til next time,

Cynthia

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Double Yellow Lines

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My kids have been playing tennis for about five years. For five years I’ve been driving them to the club for practice, getting in and out and parking without ever thinking there is something wrong with the way I’m doing things, it’s all I know.

Well…on Friday I got pulled over by a cop as I pulled into the parking lot at the tennis club. “Oh no, what did I do?” I said out loud as I reassessed everyone in the car to make sure I hadn’t missed anything – like an unbuckled seatbelt or something. I got so nervous because I never get pulled over, that’s not supposed to happened to me. My armpits are tingling and sweating, I feel perspiration coming everywhere in my body and my heart is beating out of my chest as the officer approaches my car. “Ma’am ma’am ma’am you can’t make a left turn over double solid yellow lines and on top of it you stopped traffic, you could have caused an accident” all I wanted to say was “me don’t speak English” but I couldn’t…my kids were in the car and they would not let me get away with it. Anyway, all I could say was ” but I’ve been turning there for five years” to what he replied “yes ma’am but that doesn’t mean is not wrong and illegal.” He went on to ask me for license, registration and proof of insurance which I provided and then, after checking everything he let me go with just a warning.

Five years doing the exact same thing and never thought about it until this officer explains it and I actually see it clearly. I’ve been doing the same thing with myself for a long time, so long that it doesn’t feel wrong anymore. I’ve been so hard and cruel, demanding perfection and judging myself in such a way that is wrong. Demanding perfection as a mother, as a wife, as a woman. Trying to conform to what media says “beautiful” is. Trying to get validation by saying how exhausted I am at the end of the day to show how valuable I am as a stay home mom. With the stupid mentality that the more I do, the more I’m worth. Well, it’s time for me to tell myself “ma’am ma’am ma’am you can’t do that to yourself anymore and the fact that you’ve been doing it for so long doesn’t mean is not wrong”. It’s time to change the way I look at myself and my role as wife, mother and homemaker. It’s time to know who I am and not define myself by what I do. Yes, it’s about time.

Til next time,

Cynthia

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Whatever It Is, I Like It

 

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What’s going on with me today? I woke up today full of energy. I didn’t have a problem waking up and getting out of bed. I even made it to my crossfit class. I have a spring on my step which is weird. After being in slow motion for two days, it’s a good switch. I feel happy.

Could it be that Thanksgiving is near and that’s my favorite holiday? Or is it the fact that my kids have gotten it together and are doing their homework faster and without drama? Or maybe it is the hormone replacement medicine that I was recently given as an exhibit of social service for my family. Believe me PMS time around here was a war zone packed with mine bombs. I was officially a PMS monster. The side effects minimal because I’m taking a low dose and it is plant based. The only thing is, I can’t have grapefruit juice which means no “greyhounds” for me. 😉 or could it be that I’m actually getting old? I heard Stanford University Director of Center on Longevity, Laura Carstensen, say that older people are happier. Coming from her I’ll believe it. Anyway, I’m leaning more towards the meds 😉 and so is my husband lol. Whatever it is, I like it and I hope it stays. Time will tell.

Tonight we are touring our neighborhood middle school to see if it is the right fit for my son. This only means he is growing and slowly but surely becoming a young man. This makes me happy but at the same time makes me kind of sad. Sad because soon he won’t need me as much. He will grow into his independence and that scares me but it’s necessary and healthy.

For now I’ll take my meds and be a happy camper 😉 CHEERS

Til next time

Cynthia

 

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Uneventful

Today I dropped off the kids at school and came home to tackle  three hampers worth of laundry that needed to be folded. If there is something I passionately dislike, is folding laundry. As I folded away, I rehearsed a couple of the songs I need to perform this weekend in Boston. Yes, I’m getting on the red-eye this Friday, after putting the kids to bed, to go to Boston. I’m performing on Saturday and Sunday and will head back home on sunday evening.

I finished with the laundry and picked up a bit around the house, with emphasis on “a bit”, just to realized it was almost time to go get the kids.  Tuesdays they get out earlier than normal.  I ran to the market and then went and got them.  Tuesdays is their private tennis lesson so right after school we headed to the courts. Lesson lasted an hour and then it was time to come home, to do homework and make dinner.

If you were to list everything I did today, my day could seem “uneventful” to you.  However,  it was a day full of weird unanswerable questions on the way to school, missing socks that seem to run away and go to sock heaven somewhere, of explaining to my ten-year old, who has decided he wants to sue his little sister if she takes his picture because she hasn’t given him a release document for him to sign, that I own him and it’s ok for her to take his picture because I say so. Yes, uneventful to the naked eye but,  if you ask me, you’ll understand why instead of answering I raise my glass 🙂

til next time

Cynthia

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Unmasking The Mask

Have you seen the movie “The Mask”?  You know, Jim Carey with a green face, acting wacky and silly? The movie is about a nice and normal guy, who one day finds an ancient mask. The funny part is that this mask, when worn, has several effects on the person wearing it. The effects are superhuman speed, crazy flexibility among popping eyes and other things.  Well, I have a mask and like in the movie, my mask gives me powers.  When I wear my mask people like me and accept me and  that to me is pretty powerful. My motherhood journey is fueled by mask moments. Most of my adult life is filled with mask moments too.

My mask is SHAME. Shame (fear of reveling one true self) stops me from being vulnerable.  If I’m not vulnerable then I can’t connect, but my existence depends on my connection to others because that’s how humans are wired. So, for that reason, I’m unmasking shame. This is who I really am:

I’m the most anti-social person

I’m shy and insecure

I yell at my kids almost every day (I think I didn’t yell last Sunday…oh wait)

I deal with self-image issues

I don’t know how to manage time

I don’t know how to communicate with my husband nor my kids

Most days I feel like I have no clue of what I’m doing

I constantly battle thoughts of inadequacy (like I mentioned in previous post)

I can’t keep up with house, husband and kids

I forget my kids’ doctors appointments

I forget to put sunblock on my kids

I feel like a failure because my singing career is not where I thought it would be by this time in my life.

I feel like I’m a mess

I’m always conscious about my accent, I feel people can’t understand me

This is just a small list but I think you get the point.

Since I was really young I’ve known that I want to make an impact in this world, to make a difference. I’ve known that I want to empower women of all ages to live up to their full potential. But, how can I do that if I don’t open myself up? How can I help others if they can’t really see me?

I am tired of wearing this mask.  I am letting go of  who I think I’m supposed to be and I going to embrace who I actually am. I have decided to be vulnerable and let you all see who I really am.  I’m letting go of shame so you can see my face. I really hope that you’ll still like me but I want you to know that if you don’t, it’s totally ok.

On that note CHEERS!

til next time

Cynthia

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“Today I’m Doing Nothing”

Yesterday was a weird day.  It could have been the fact that it was Wednesday (mid-week) or the cramps that were torturing me since the night before. Whatever it the reason, it was just weird.

After dropping off the kids at school I came home.  I could not find the strength to do anything on my list and there was no way I was going to workout with the cramps I had. I looked inside bedrooms and saw unmade beds so I closed the doors. I saw a pile of laundry screaming “wash me!” so I kicked it to a corner. I said to myself, “today I’m doing nothing”. Please note that when I say “today”, I mean my 5-hour day (refer to “Not One Of Those Days” post). I decided to catch up on one of my favorite shows on TV, PARENTHOOD. I felt like a rebel and even had a grin on my face.  I made myself a cappuccino and sat on my throne (after all, I’m a queen). I turned on the DV-R and started to watch.  Can you believe I couldn’t focus on the show? I kept going back to the picture of unmade beds and the laundry was screaming louder and louder “Cynthiaaaa, wash me!”. At the same time, I looked down at my bloated stomach and realized it was a bad idea to have skipped my workout.  I couldn’t take it. I got up, made the beds and put the laundry in the washer.  And no I didn’t workout.   Before I knew it, it was time to get the kids.

Got the kids and came home to feed them a snack and get homework done before tennis.  As we sat down to start homework, on one side my daughter excitingly talked about the Cello she is about to start learning in orchestra, while my son urgently handed me a bunch of papers that needed to be signed. My day was over and here I was regretting not taking just one moment to do nothing.  While indulging in my regret, I looked at my daughter and, in my mind, I muted her. Then looked at the papers in front of me and imagined laser beams coming out of my eyes and burning them.  That’s when it happened.  Like sent from up above, like if all the planets decided to align for me, I received a text. A text from a woman to whom I will refer to as “wise woman” due to the wisdom behind her words as she asked: ” Can you have a drink at 6:15? ” To what I eagerly replied “Ah YES!”

I served dinner and my hubby took over finishing homework with the kids. I put on some blush and got the heck out – I couldn’t wait!   We had a fun time filled with laughter and great conversation.  When I got home, my kitchen was immaculate, kids were in bed and they had even laid out their clothes for the next  day. It was beautiful and all I could think was “Who should I have a drink with tomorrow?”

til next time,

Cynthia

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